Jeff's Mountain Bike, My Mini

In February I picked up Jeff from his shuttle to Salt Lake for his housesitting stint. He brought his bike for exercise and to reduce the amount he would use my car. I had memories of putting bikes in the back of my car, and before Jeff arrived reassured him the bike would be fine. I think I was remembering my old car, or perhaps a different bike.

We first removed the front tire before trying anything else, because obviously a mini is not a pickup truck. Though after turning the bike over we couldn't see how to release (open further) his front brakes. So ,as the panic boiled, we deflated the tire enough to squeeze through the brakes. Just loosening the quick-release axle didn't release the tire, so Jeff squatted onto the sidewalk and pounded at the bottom of the tread while I tried to hold the front wheel steady. Front wheels are designed to turn very easily, even upsidedown. It didn't inch out, it centimetered out. I folded the mini's back seats down and pulled the front seats up, and we fed the bike into the hatch. The wide mountain-bike handles presented a minor problem, and fortunately neither the seals on my hatch nor the carpet on my ceiling bear any scars. Handle bars now vertical to the horizon and bike (happy was I that front wheels turn), we pushed the bike in. It didn't fit by the debth of his mountain-bike tread. Wiggling, adjusting, pushing saw the bike tire move into the back, then realized the handlebars had jumped the front seat. I moved to the front seat to wiggle and pulled while Jeff stayed at the hatch to wiggled and pushed. "It will fit" I kept saying, because we were so close. Finally I called it officially within the car, and Jeff experimentally closed the back hatch. It closed. After loading everything else around the bike (plenty of space, seriously, that part was no problem) imagine Jeff's surprise when we climbed into the front seat and saw how I made it fit. I had decided to hook his handlebar over the middle of my headrest. It was pressed firmly against the headrest. I figured, plenty of room. However, climbing into the car I realized that not only was the seat all the way up, but the mini's headrests are specially designed to only give the headspace needed, no extra. He held the bike back, jammed into his front seat pulled completely forward. While I, legs completely embracing the steering wheel column, sitting forwarn, turned on the car. "I feel like we're young and stupid again. Isn't it fun?" "It is something we used to do." Though all the way home I could imagine all the ways we'd get in a wreck and decided I wasn't stupid enough to do it again. Jeff borrowed a pump from Dianne. Used the bike a handful of time. And we borrowed Kathy and Vern's minivan to return to the airport the next month. Ah, though, to revisit the thrill of tiny cars and trading safety for success.